You have all of these important things to do.
Every moment, every aught.
Hurry it up!
You complained about not having the time to do all the things and now here it is. You got what you said you want.
And when it arrives, all you can do is contemplate demise. You miss the busy-ness and distractedness.
You somehow miss all of the stress and grist.
But that isn’t even it. You miss chaos if that’s what you grew up in.
It’s a known enemy. A known usurper.
You think, “this time will be different. I’ll finally be the conquerer.”
But it isn’t, and you’re not.
And now the space has gone empty so you can fill it with your own time. Your own rhythm and rhyme.
You always get what you ask for. Just not always the way you imagined it would arrive.
How many times did you say, “I just want to be alone!”
And here you are, a stone’s throw.
Saying, “no, no, no!”
Nothing stolen, you chose to let it go.
It’s been hot, hot, hot out. Holding off on pruning trees in peak heat. You might kill the thing.
But it turns out, it’s dying anyway.
Time to dig it out by the roots. Let it go. Next season is a new season. You can’t make a dead tree grow if it doesn’t want to.
I didn’t do it, the Cerebrolysin.
Held off for a day to contemplate it. But my brain really needs it, the time is nigh. The hour is now?
